Well, first thing, whoever thought of this must’ve been either a genius or just wildly tired of watching water evaporate for fun. You got canals, right? Long snaky things slicing through fields, dragging water along like they got all the…

Out in places like Phoenix or El Centro — where the sun isn’t just something in the sky, it’s basically a punishment handed down by something angry — roofs don’t age, they evaporate. Asphalt turns soft by lunch and crackles…